Greetings, oh Great Ones

[biguy]

I've been a member on this site for over two and a half years and I haven't been posting, let alone introduced myself. :eek: Methinks that punishment is in order. :D

I'm a 34 year old married bi guy and I live in sunny South Africa. I realised that I'm bi just under three years ago and it felt as if the rug had been pulled out from me because up till then, I had absolutely no idea that I could be attracted to men. "Denial is a river in Egypt", and all of that, I guess. Consider the fact that wifey and I were together for about eight years, of which we were married for about three and a half years... Long story short, I came out to her two months after this realisation, we spent a lot of time having open, honest (and oftentimes scary or embarrassing) discussions, but all is well. :)

I devote a lot of my spare time to the running of an online forum for bi men. Other than that, I heart music, reading and writing....and checking out mens along with building up a collection of what I consider to be hawt men's undies. :D

Anywhoo, it's good to be here and I hope to be a contributing member on this site. Apologies for my rudeness up till now...spank me behbeh, spank me! :D

[SweatyAussie]

Apologies for my rudeness up till now...spank me behbeh, spank me! :D

This is just a clever ploy to score a spanking. Take a number pal, I was first in line. :)

[biguy]

This is just a clever ploy to score a spanking. Take a number pal, I was first in line. :)

DaYaMN! He found me out! lol

Didn't you get the memo? I have a beechwood paddle with your name written on it. Up for a round of 'Dungeons and Dragons', perhaps? :D

[INTRIGADO]

how did you realised it ?

[Kilty]

Oh because u r fucking hot!

[biguy]

Please forgive my tardy reply? You're more than welcome to punish me if you wish LOL :moon

how did you realised it ?
Ahem! I realised that I'm bi after I developed feelings for a friend of mine. It was a whack time in my life, the emotions ranged from shock to horror to confusion and WOW! all at the same time LOL.

Oh because u r fucking hot!
*BUHLUSH*
thanks. You're very kind. :)

[Twain]

I'd like to hear more about your discovery of being bi, both the conversation with your friend and your internal feelings. I feel bi too; as little kids say, show me yours, and I'll show you mine.

Twain

[biguy]

This may end up being an encyclopedia, so brace yourself:

I need to give you a bit of background. My friend was sexually abused when he was small and he never told anyone about it. When he was around 16, he realised that he's gay and eventually came out to his parents. They responded by sending him to 11 therapists so that his "problem could be fixed". *sighs angrily* Their approach led to his decision to marry his best friend, a woman. She knew that he is gay at the time but she was in love with him, so she agreed. He'd always been faithful to her. Much as he continued to embrace the gay label, he repressed his feelings and desires.

The issues related to his sexual abuse surfaced. Based on his past, going for therapy was the last thing that he was willing to do. So he turned to me instead; so that he had someone to talk to...an objective sounding board of sorts. At that stage of the game, I still had no idea that I was remotely close to being bisexual. There was never any attraction towards men or curiosity about messing around with a guy. The situation led to us being extremely close and the connection between us deepened and deepened.

When I opened my eyes, I'd developed feelings for him. It was a HUGE shock. What made it even more scary, was that I could his approach with me showed that consciously or subconsciously, but he had also developed feelings. He NEEDED to be made aware of it because it stood to wreak havoc in his life and marriage. I have a kamikaze approach in my interpersonal relationships. If something's amiss, I go there; "lets lay our cards on the table, thrash things out and agree on a way forward". So I told him that I'd developed feelings for me; that I had no idea where they had come from but there were there and they couldn't be ignored. He told me that he had developed feelings for me. I sensed that he wanted to explore things with me. I told him that I refused to cheat on my wife and I refused to be a part of him cheating on his. I refused to be a trainwreck in his life and in mine along with my wife's. He accepted it and we agreed to deal with our issues and focus on our friendship.

Part of my background includes psychology (not that I'm remotely close to being a therapist), so I know that when repressed urges are triggered and they surface, they run deep and they're intense. So I attempted to be there for him so that he'd have a place where he could give them a voice. However, he turned on me and accused me of being a Pandora's Box in his life. He held me responsible for what he was going through and it turned into resentment. What added to these feelings was his belief that I was better off than him; that I have an attraction for women etc. whereas he had to "teach" himself to be attracted to women and the female genitalia. Subsequently, our friendship was thrown under a bus and we've never spoken to each other again. I believe that it's for the best. Much as his wife knows that he is gay, she's been very clear that if he needs to "be" with a guy, then they'll need to divorce. I doubt that he'd have been able to handle the fact that my wife has a different stance and has allowed me to "be" with men.

Sheesh. My internal feelings. There were soooo many and they were intense. I was confused...not only in the sense of "Where did this come from? How does this stand to impact my future along with my wife's?", but also, "Who the hell am I?" I felt as if I'd lost all sense of self. In light of being married, I experienced tremendous fear, insecurity and I felt as if I was in a pressure cooker that was ready to blow. I was riddled with guilt; I blamed myself for what my friend was going through and I also blamed myself for my lack of self awareness that led to my wife marrying someone completely different to who she believed him to be. I felt like a freak and a fraud. I felt lonely and isolated (because generally speaking, unless bi men are looking to hookup, they're in hiding). There were times when I had suicidal feelings.

And in the midst of this, I was horny as hell. LOL. It's fairly common for men to realise that they're bi later on in their lives. There's the tendency to take our attraction for women for granted and to be so caught up with it that we isn't aware that there's also an attraction for men...but it eventually catches up with us. In such instances, as soon as we realise that we're bi and acknowledge our urges etc., it's almost like we're going through a second puberty...only it's much more intense. The duration of this phase and the intensity of the feelings and desires is dependent on the duration of our obliviousness to being bi. So I'd see a hot guy and I'd spend hours fantasizing over what I wanted to do with him. The sense of being isolated and lonely led to me looking at peeps in the street or mall and thinking, "Is he bi? Or him? Or her? What about them? Am I the only frikking bi guy on this planet?!!"

Sorry for the length of this post. I hope that I've answered your questions. Feel free to ask me more questions if there's a need. :)

[Daddymandfw]

Wow! First off thank you so much for sharing this with us. As a gay man I understanding where you are coming from in the sense that at one time I felt like I was the only one. We both have learned we are not... I think your wife is a very strong women to still be with you and it shows that the both of you still Love each other from within the heart. after all that is were true love is found and it doesn't (to me or a lot of others) or shouldn't matter who that Love is shared with, Gay Straight Bi or whatever. Love is Love. Again thank you so much for sharing our life with others.

[biguy]

Daddymandfw:

Now I'm the one to say WOW! I'm speechless, actually. Thank you so much for your kind words; I appreciate the time and trouble that you went to, to convey them to me.

I couldn't agree with you more: Regardless of the orientation or circumstance, love is love...and everyone is entitled to love whomever their hearts compel them to love.

Thank you for your kindness; I appreciate the opportunity to interact with you and to be afforded the opportunity to be exposed to your vision of the world.

[Twain]

Let me add my appreciation to that of Daddymandfw. Keeping the marriage, and the bi part of yourself together, is impressive. Not something I was able to accomplish. Since I said I'd show you mine if you showed yours, here's my discovery--as a short story. I changed point of view--in reality I was the prof., but I think it sounds more exciting from the student's viewpoint.
And he seduced me, as in the story:

Teaching the Prof
I had liked him in college English 101, liked his aqua eyes, his swimmer’s build, his brown-reddish beard. But in Creative Writing he let his personality show. He was always sharing humorous stories, and everything reminded him of an ex-girlfriend. He encouraged young writers to open up, to find themselves, and share that self with the class. He asked us to call him Tom.

One night I spotted him at a local tavern and invited him to our table. I was sitting with a couple of university girls. We talked about movies and sports as we flirted with the girls. He was also single. The girls flirted back. Sure thing I thought.

The beer flowed more and more easily until nearly to closing time. “Hey,” I said sidling up to be confidentially close, “I’d love to take these girls home. I’m really horny; how about you?”

“Love to. We’d have to go to your place though, I’ve got my soon to be ex-girlfriend at mine.”

“That’s fine. I’ve got an extra bed.” I slid closer to him, “but if they won’t, maybe we could . . . you know, take care of each other. I like girls best, but . . .”

“I like them too, and these kids are fun to talk with. I don’t know about your other offer. Never done that.”

We slid back to the girls and ordered one for last call.
“We’ve got to be going,” Jennifer said. We tried to persuade them that the rest of the evening at my place would be very restful. They got up. “See you,” they said.

We talked some more. I brought the subject back, “I’m as horny as a Texas longhorn.” I said.

“I’m a little more like a short-horn myself."

“What about going to my place?”

“Oh, what the hell,” he said. “If you try something once you’re normal. It takes twice to make you gay.”

When we got there and started to undress I told him I don’t wear underwear.

“Well, I’m wearing enough for both of us.” He then revealed long john bottoms, with boxers underneath. “The boxers are to keep the sweat away from my body. And I was cold tonight. I guess I’ve been curious to try this.”

“It’s fun. Just wait.” As soon as the underwear was off, he was hard.
“You look eager as hell.”

“I have to admit, the idea of this turns me on. Something we’re not supposed to do; something not everyone has tried. You’re good-looking, you know.”

I then took his beautifully shaped cock in my mouth, all the way down my throat.

“Wow,” he squeaked. “Anne doesn’t do it like that. Neither has anyone else.”
I took him part of the way out and swirled my tongue around his corona. Then I licked his slit. I teased his cock for a while, letting it part way in, and then mostly out. I kept a vacuum going on it.

“Not that either.”

Did I say he was eager? He turned around into a sixty-nine, and began to suck me. It was good at first, then, “Ouch, watch your teeth.” Typical first-timer, he dropped my dick and said, “Sorry.”

He tried to mimic my actions, but mostly sucked the shaft. In the meantime, I was using his cock like a lollipop, licking up it from the base to the tip, focusing on the underside, but bathing it all in affection. I took his in again and began to suck in earnest. He began slamming my mouth as he engulfed my cock He came first. I kept most of it in; some dribbled down my chin.
I hammered his mouth for a long time, and then came with a war cry. He also swallowed.

“Fantastic,” he said, “Just fantastic.”

How much did I teach my English prof.? He woke me at 4 am and said, “Let’s do it again.”

[biguy]

Shew wee! Your story is smoking hawt! I can't begin to thank you enough for sharing your story in such a creative and exceptional way. I have no doubt that you put a lot of thought and effort into it, so thank you so very much.

I enjoyed your story thoroughly. You have an amazing gift; for the life of me, I don't understand why you aren't posting stories on here. I have no doubt that they'd be well received.

Many thanks, oh Gifted One! :)